The Higher the Hair the Closer to God

Anyone’s who’s been following the ludicrous and depressing Presidential primary spectacle knows that we’ve had to endure a lot of silly news stories about hair. Shininggleamingstreamingflaxenwaxen hair.

Now, I don’t care how much John Edwards or Mitt Romney paid for their haircuts. In my socialist utopia, we would all get $400 haircuts. As Big Bill Haywood supposedly said, “nothing’s too good for the working class”. But this is a good opportunity for some serious political reflection: which socialists had the best and worst hair?

DSA founder Michael Harrington kept up an impressive mane right up to the end of his life. He could have used a haircut, though:

Now, I don't care how much John Edwards or Mitt Romney paid for their haircuts. In my socialist utopia, we would all get $400 haircuts. As Big Bill Haywood supposedly said, "nothing's too good for the working class". But this is a good opportunity for some serious political reflection: which socialists had the best and worst hair?

DSA founder Michael Harrington kept up an impressive mane right up to the end of his life. He could have used a haircut, though:

Harrington

What about the Senate's only self-avowed socialist, Bernie Sanders?

Sanders

Hmm, a little...unkempt. No $400 haircuts there, that's for sure. Of course, Karl Marx was a rather hirsute fellow. But those 20th Century Communists who claimed to follow his example were an increasingly clean cut bunch, as can be seen from an image my Communist friends used to call "the history of shaving":

historyofshaving

Just another reason not to be a Communist, I guess. Trotsky, on the other hand, is always a contender, for sheer volume and for a certain exuberant unruliness:

Trotsky

Less well known, but just as impressive, is the Italian Communist Party theorist Antonio Gramsci:

Gramsci

And let's not make this a total sausage party. Check out Rosa Luxemburg:

Luxemburg

The floor is open for nominations. Who have I left out?


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