An open letter to the media

Dearest agents of the bourgeois press,

Whatever Works came out last week, Woody Allen and Larry David together at last, the wet dream of every narcotic New Yorker!  Not unlike neo-classical economics it sounds better in theory than in practice. Nonetheless, I knew I would end up watching the whole film for the same reason I sat through Righteous Kill. Yet for some reason I decided to find out what your snarky film critics thought about it.  Being the internet-savvy young man that I am I did a quick Google News search for “Whatever Works” (intuitive huh?).  Here are the unedited titles of the first few results:

Woody Allen's Latest: Works Like a Charm TIME

'Whatever Works' doesn't for Woody Allen Los Angeles Times

Woody Allen's 'Whatever Works' doesn't USA Today

Woody Allen's 'Whatever Works' not working that well New York Daily News

Review: Allen's `Whatever Works' not quite working Associated Press

Being a movie star 'Works' for Larry David Miki Turner

Woody Allen still knows what 'Works' The Examiner

In Allen's 'Whatever Works,' Not Much Does Kenneth Turan

'Whatever Works' for Larry David: Not Much, Thanks Blackbook Magazine

Woody Allen hopes Whatever Works The Examiner

In a world where Antonio Meucci, Elisha Gray and Alexander Graham Bell all invented the telephone independently of each other, these writers really should’ve realized that dozens of other hacks were going to get just as cute with the title “Whatever Works”.

Please eradicate the “Dane Cooks” of the written-word involved with the publication of the aforementioned articles or at the very least prepare to ship them to reeducation camp to get review-title writing lessons from A.O. Scott.  That is of course after DSA and the New Party team up with Obama to open those FEMA death camps for people who won’t turn in their guns or submit to marathon viewing sessions of Queer Eye (speaking of that, don’t forget about Friday night!).

PS: Thanks for doing your best to cover up the whole “Muslim-radical-Marxist” thing-- Barack Hussein sends his comradely regards. 

In solidarity,

Bhaskar Big Bhask da Boss

Be the first to comment

Revolution at the Crossroads: Igniting the Socialist Resistance Against Trump

February 17, 2017 · $20.00 USD

Location: MayDay Space
Where: 176 St Nicholas Ave, Brooklyn, NY 11237
When: Friday, February 17th at 6 PM to Sunday, February 19th to 4 PM

Political Context

This Presidents’ Day weekend, the Young Democratic Socialists will gather for our annual winter conference in New York City titled Revolution at the Crossroads: Igniting the Socialist Resistance Against Trump. We did not choose the name lightly. In doing so, we call for leftists to collectively confront Trump and Trumpism at every possible opportunity. When a Trump administration attempts mass deportations of undocumented workers, when it attempts to register Muslims or roll back worker protections, when it attempts to take away reproductive, LGTBQ, civil, or any other rights, then we must militantly resist to prevent such measures.

To succeed, this must be explicitly socialist resistance. With liberalism having repeatedly shown itself incapable of combating the far right, it is now the time for socialists to openly declare our place in building the mass, multi-racial, and working class movement necessary for defeating the Trump administration. In this struggle, millennials will play an outsized role. That is why this conference comes at such a critical time—together we must create spaces for democratic and strategic discussion, spaces to gain organizing skills, and most importantly, spaces to form networks of young radicals for the future struggles ahead. These spaces will only come together if socialists come together. Join us this Presidents Weekend and help ignite the movement to defeat the Trump administration, continue the political revolution, and build the socialist alternative.

Key Deadlines

  • January 8th: Travel Scholarship for Air Travel (for application see below)
  • January 15th: Travel Scholarship for Non-Air Travel (ex: bus, car, train, etc.)
  • February 3rd: Early Bird Registration Ends - Tickets prices go up from $5 to $10
  • February 10th: Free Housing - We have limited free housing. You need to first register, then you will be sent an application for free housing.

Apply for a travel scholarship here! (First Deadline January 8, 2017)

Check out the working program (subject to change)